Now how do I say this? I know it sounds really corny, but I am the real ME! Nope, I haven’t lost it. This is the truth.

Ok, let me go back to where it all started. You must be aware that I’ve been blogging away like crazy. Soon there was no time at all for me. Right from six in the evening till four-thirty – five in the morning, I was hooked on to the computer – and yes – Sulekha.

My life started going haywire. Soon dark clouds threatened my existence and dark circles surrounded my eye. And as I sat, my paunch kept growing. And my head kept pace. Of course, the reputation of being the hottest hunk is Sulekha was under threat.

I voiced my concern to some close pals. A mad scientist – A=Je2,  An even madder Doc – D Under W, An Old Man who lives by the sea, Secret agent Q, A Psycho who treats both and offers general counsel to harried souls around, a saintly housewife with a wickedly evil mind, a Doc who sees far into the future by looking into your eye and of course a motley bunch of giggly girls to a poetess who shares a great chemistry and the catalyst PF. The lawyers were around knowing there will be problems for them to solve after this bunch gives up.

It was the A=Je2 who came with the idea with a glint in his eye. He was delighted to have a live human being to experiment on (He is known in the mouse circles as Nash the Vicious Terminator). Since his face looked to impishly guileless and his smile so disarming, I agreed to his ****brained idea.

Soon I was carted off into some remote jungle, somewhere (I was blindfolded). I could hear the anguished cries of a constipated tiger once in a while and that’s how I deduced my location.

Anyway, I am glad I came out of the ordeal successfully. But, Dang, there was another ME! For a moment I thought I was in a Hindi/Tamil/Telugu Movie. But heck, this was real. Ditto-ditto. I realized I had been cloned.

A=Je2 had a wide grin on his face. He stood there with a patriarchal pride looking at his creation. Is it his? Nope, He is mine. My own flesh and blood! He’s literally Me!

But he looked much more youthful – I mean he’s new – latest model – freshly made –whatever. He looked much more sharper too. Did I see an evil gleam in his eye? Or was I imagining? I don’t know.

Anyway, I had a huge problem on my hands. I was struggling to manage with one of Me. And Now I have two. It’s like D_W’s wife going into the labor room and the Doc says “Triplets”.

It’s an amazing feeling. I am sure all the mothers would agree.

But while they have a cute, tiny, cuddly weakling to care for, here I was dumped with one more Full-size ME. Same XXL size.

I would have kept quiet about all this and gone about with my work, but this guy has been causing trouble for me. He flirts shamelessly with all the women in Sulekha. He even goes and meets them and makes these corny offers of a Faluda (Gimme a break, a Faluda??? In this time and age?)

Ok, my real problem is simple. This guy is garnering all the glory. I keep sitting alone in a room and plugging away at an old keyboard while this guy is having all the fun.

Why, he even comes home reeking of B/L. He’s got some friend, some old man who plies him with the stuff and come evening these guys and their friends meet up in some watering hole and crack bawdy jokes, get roaring drunk and crawl back home in the wee hours of the morning.

This is too much. I can’t take it any more. When I complain to A=Je2, all he does is smile. And that infuriates me.

Anyway, I want you all to be aware, that if that chappie does mischief, it’s not ME!

Wherever there is a party, this guy seems to be around.

I am planning to get a nice disclaimer drafted by a Lawyer, who is very good at this kind of stuff.

So, just in case, you find this guy sidling up to you with a sweet offer of a faluda, in some place quiet, catch A=Je2. It was his idea gone wild.