Go to kitchen if you have one.

Look around.

Open the fridge (again if you have one)

Take everything out and arrange it neatly on the kitchen slab (the one next to the sink)

Segregate into separate piles – good, bad, and absolutely rotten.

Good means everything that smells and looks ok

Bad means everything that has fungi and algae and is off-color

Absolutely rotten means you’ll have to hold your nose

Now, wrap up all the bad and absolutely rotten stuff and dispose it off! NOW! PRONTO!

You have all the good stuff remaining

It’s usually like 1.) Tomato Sauce 2.) Strawberry Jam 3.) Milkmaid tin 4.) Coke 5) Diet Coke 6) Eggs 7) Bread 8) Cheese 9) Several half eaten packs of snacks

(I am assuming that this is in the first week after pay-day)

Put on your chef’s hat. Tie an apron. You have to achieve the right look before you begin cooking.

Open the bread packet and lay out the slices neatly in rows on a large plate.

Garnish it with some cheese. (Remember to peel away the thin plastic cover on the slices before doing that)

Now switch on the stove and place a kadai over it and let it simmer for a while. Add some butter and let it melt. Now break the eggs and dunk into kadai. (Finely chopped onions, tomatoes and minced meat make a good combination if you are a non-vegetarian)

Stir for a while till it smells good.

Switch off the stove.

Turn off the gas.

If you have done everything right, you will have a delicious filling ready. Scoop it up liberally from the Kadai and make a small hillock of it on top the cheese. Now you have three layers – Bread, cheese slice and the filling. Close this with a bread slice. You can make more layers by adding thin slices of cucumber, tomato, carrot etc.

Spread mayonnaise and salad dressing liberally on the vegetables to mask it’s taste.

If you have one those hand-held toasters – Great! Toast it and it’s really yummy.

Now take the finest plate you have. Wipe it clean. Place a tomato in the middle. Place the toasts around it.

Go outside and pluck and nice looking leaf. Wash it and place neatly on tomato.

Voila!

 

(d_w, I am invading your turf)

They say the way to a woman's heart is through the belly, so here goes!

Serve with love.