Act 1

Scene 1

Enter the hero - a schoolboy Sam, aged 16 in his uniform along with his girlfriend Sophie.

SAM; Just a year more and I'm outta here! I can't take this anymore! I'm sick of uniforms!

SOPHIE nods

SOPHIE; It bugs me too! I have such a huge collection of dresses

I can’t wear coz' of this stupid uniform

SAM; Soon it will all be over. I just can't wait to get into college.

I'm gonna just freak out! Go wild!

SOPHIE; Yeah, I'm sure (laughs)

SAM; I have it all worked out!

SOPHIE; Yeah, yeah, yeah!

SAM; I am planning to take BA in politics

SOPHIE; What? Are you nuts?

SAM; Naaah, Babe, I know what I am doing!

SOPHIE; How come you're not doing IT?

SAM; Everybody's doing IT! Besides you need to be good at logic!

SOPHIE; Everything needs logic

SAM; I've found that in Politics, you don't need it

SOPHIE; What do you mean?

SAM; Just look around. Look at our Laloo. He runs railways and makes it so profitable.

Any logic there? They are studying his methods in business schools now.

SOPHIE; Are you serious? You mean you are going ahead with your hare-brained scheme?

SAM; Scheme is the right word you used, alright. Strategy is more apt for what I had in mind.

SOPHIE; What strategy?

SAM; Stage 1 - Off the people

SOPHIE; Now what the heck is that? I thought it was "of the people"

SAM; This is my strategy - I need resources, money, people, liquor, vehicles, publicity - lots of it. I need to take it “off the people”

SOPHIE; How?

SAM; Donations for my party. You scratch my back and I scratch yours when I am in power.

SOPHIE; You mean people will give you money just like that

SAM; Not just like that. They know I am a potential candidate. Who knows, I may even rise up to become a minister before 30. For them it's investment.

SOPHIE; And then?

SAM; Then the next stage is "for the people"

During that stage I will make promises. I need to first divide the haves from the have-nots.

The haves don't count coz' they won't vote. And even if they do, they won't vote for me.

SOPHIE; That's true. Knowing you, I wouldn't vote for you

SAM; Who needs your vote? Besides I am pretty sure that you will not vote.

SOPHIE; And then, what's your next step?

SAM; Buy the people

I mean pay for their expenses, their travel, their booze, everything. I must get them to come here and vote for me.

SOPHIE; That's it? They'll come and vote?

SAM; Not just for that, alright

They need promises. And they need comforts. Colour TV. Gas. Blankets. Bed-sheets. Houses. Cars. Whatever.

SOPHIE; You mean "empty" promises?

SAM; That's how it works! Ours is a democracy. Besides you can always take from Peter to pay Paul.

SOPHIE; You have it all worked out, eh?

SAM; To a certain extent, yes.

But I must consult my Guruji first.

SOPHIE; So what about studies? BA Politics?

SAM; I am confused about that. It might be a disqualification if I complete it.

I must take advice regarding that.

SOPHIE; Ok, fine, let’s assume you do all that. And you have power, fame everything. Then what next?

SAM; I’ll go international. Look at the United States. They have a Bush for Prez.

Don’t you think that I’ll do a better job any day?

China is right next door, but no scope there! I like democracies.



(Dedicated to Santosh and Sophie, for inspiring me to write my first play)